To Kill
by Adventuresomely
Summary: The morals we're presented with at birth are the morals we stand with. There's always a reason.


Is it innately wrong to kill another human? What decides this concept in our lives? Perhaps... a moral compass that drives us in the right direction from the moment we have enough consciousness to make our own decisions? Hardly – the answer lies within family roots and outside forces that affect each individual differently.

We are what we have been raised to be. No child comes out of the womb knowing the difference between right and wrong. No child can tell the difference for they are pure and simple with no knowledge or preconceptions in their mind. They are untainted, similarly to animals that love unconditionally and kill in the same frame of mind. Family influences a child's thoughts and actions by teaching them the ins and outs of what life is – and so, if a family's morals are less than ideal, how could one blame the child for their actions?

It cannot be innately wrong to kill if a family has taught their child nothing but that alone as their method of sustenance. Regardless of what others in a broken society may call to blame, there is no way to determine right or wrong in any given circumstance where morals come to play. Morals differ from person to person, and while we may stare disdainfully at the actions of others, it's what they have been raised to do themselves. A rift has formed between the 'good' and the 'bad', when neither actually exists upon further examination that each sin is merely a perception and preconception of one individual's own life experiences.

Killua was raised in this way. To the outside world, he was nothing more than pure darkness – a sociopath whom was a danger to others should he ever be allowed to venture far outside the walls of his home. Tortured since birth and raised in the way of an assassin, he never held the morals that you or I might – to kill was normal for him, and he wouldn't hesitate to do so if any got in his way or challenged him. Some would call him a monster, even... Though, when reexamining the facts, how could he possibly be so if it was how he was raised? Even his family was not at fault as that, too, was how they were raised. In a world of 'darkness', far away from the prying eyes of the normal folk, how could one ever understand the life of someone who was raised so differently?

That came to be Killua's own preconception – that the outside world would never understand a darkness dweller like he or his family. When people begged for their life before he killed them, shunned him with absolute hatred in their eyes, Killua knew he wouldn't ever truly fit in normally. They would never understand quite what is being told here and now – the fact that he had no choice in the life he was given or the things he was taught. Maybe that was why Killua was genuinely surprised when he met Gon – a boy similar in age to himself, whom didn't run in fear or shun him for what he was raised to be.

"Let's be friends forever, Killua!"

How he had never expected to hear those words from anyone! Gon, raised in such a way that was the polar opposite of himself... Gon had none of the preconceptions in his mind over what was right and wrong. He was naïve and innocent - the light in a dark and grey world where people were always choosing one side or another. Gon was special without being special at all – he simply was and acted out in the way he found natural, and that made him odd in the eyes of each person who met him. He was endearing and trustworthy even to those on the side of 'darkness' – those who sought to kill, to steal, and to take what they could before vanishing outright.

Killua would do anything to protect that light from vanishing into thin air.

Gon's words were always warm and friendly, lighting the darkness of Killua's life and driving away his shadows of doubt and fear. Incompatible as they might seem at first glance with their obvious major differences, there was a state of equilibrium between them – a balance between both sides. Killua could dim Gon's blinding light before he burned himself out, and Gon could continue to drive away Killua's doubts and fears. So long as one was near the other, balancing the other entirely, nothing was quite so painful and Killua could find himself changing day by day – growing out of what he was raised to do.

He'd never been innately wrong in his actions of the past, and he was never innately wrong with his actions in the present. To this point, whether or not killing was ever wrong, whether his life was a sin and he was bound to suffer in torment upon his death if hell was ever such a thing, it never mattered anyway. For what he was taught – to live in 'darkness' and as the opposing force of society, he was there to balance out a person like Gon whom burned so brightly he could be snipped out of existence in a moment. There's a purpose for every existence, from the lightest of lights and the darkest of darks – and there's no such thing as good or bad in a world where this purpose remains.

"Killua...I'm glad to have met you!"

Too much of one thing is never good, and this counts in 'good' and 'evil' as well. Like Yin and Yang, Gon and Killua would be the opposing forces who work in harmony with one another; dual natured and able to accomplish something neither could do alone. Couldn't you say that society works in similar ways, with opposing sides driving each other forward each day to do things we wouldn't otherwise?

"_Gon...I should be the one saying that! I'm the one who should be grateful!"_

Killing isn't so bad. Being a saint isn't all good. Only when you can see both sides of the spectrum – see why things work the way they do and how it affects the world around us – will you be able to realize how necessary this balance is in the world. Gon and Killua have found their balance – without one another, how will things change in their own worlds? 'Darkness' to darkness and 'light' to light, each might fade back to their habits and alone, their potential is halved.

Our potential would be halved, too, if we separated the good from the bad outright.


End file.
